The Craziest Place In Stellenbosch – But In A Good Way

YO YO YO Pimp’s and Ho’s! How fair thee people of the world!? The sun’s out and it’s getting warm again – contrary to The Matt having pale enough skin to brighten a dark room (I don’t tan, FARK YOU peasant!), I’m a Summer-Lover! Bit of rain and cool days here and there are all good and well, but The Matt endorses the heat! BAM! And it doesn’t get much hotter in the Cape (ok, kak I know there are hotter places…) than Stellenbosch! I’ve been there a-visiting what feels like a shit-load lately and would go back right now if I had the chance! It’s the people and places of Stellies that kick more bum than Steven Seagal and one of the best is found on Dorp (that’s “town” to the winners of the Boer Wars and people like me that can’t tan…) Street…

Frightful business this "war" thing George! By jove, eating outside in these horrendous conditions, I say sir!

Place Of Oddities

If you’ve been in Stellies at lunch time, flip, if you’ve been in Stellies at all at ANY time and you haven’t gone to the Trumpet Tree, well then sorry – you have succesfully missed out on a flipping sha-weet place!

Now sure, I might have some bias towards, this place – I’ve made mates with a couple of the people that work there, but all that aside, I’m a Jozi boy originally and one of the things I’ve noticed since moving to the Cape is – Jaasie, but you Capetonians can be an elitist bunch of tossers hey? Now don’t act offended, I know 99.9% of you are lank proud of that and so what – it’s what makes you Capetonian. However this is why the Trumpet Tree is shweet, Being from Jozi, I’m used to going to a random pub/bar (think “Bowls Club” at Zoo Lake okes and chiquilas) and meeting new people as if you should have known them for years.

Siiigh... Bowls Club... Many a daft idea and/or evening began here back in the day...

This is what’s awesome about the Trumpet Tree – I’m yet to go there and not have some strange and I mean STRANGE new person come up to The Matt and start a conversation. From Freddie, the farmer that after talking crap about rugby to for 20 minutes invited me to his “plaas”, to George the odd, but FLIPPING funny oke from the Backpackers around the corner. You find all characters.

Don't be fooled Boychies and Girlchies - Behind that gate, shit gets crazy!

Brandy and Coke Specials, awesome food and portions to fill a flippin’ Maties prop – hardly scratch the surface. The staff are, in my opinion – full on, bat-shit crazy; but in a good way – the bar-staff for instance… It’s like dinner and a show and the locals know well that if they tip – they’re gonna be looked after for the rest of the night (so tip okes, it not only proves you have some class, but works out for you in the end…

Jislaaik Tiddles, I flippin' TOLD you to chill on your 5th "Brannewyn Special"!

There you have it – sick place for an awesome morning, afternoon or evening in Stellenbosch. Check it out if you find yourself there and thank The Matt later.